This sure sounds like a long shot, but NME reports that Morrissey might be England’s representative for the next Eurovision song competition:

“It is also possible the star, who has previously worked with former Eurovision winner Sandie Shaw, could also perform the track at the 2007 contest in Helsinki, Finland, according to BBC NEWS”… “I was horrified but not surprised to see the UK fail…why didn’t they ask me?” asked Morrissey during his residency at the London Palladium in May.”

Ok. Pause. Do you even know what the Eurovision is? Let me try and sum it up: it’s a European extravagantic cheese fest of a song competition, in which every country sends a representative to compete on the title of “best Eurovision song”. The event happens once a year, each time in a different country, and is a true strange and amusing oddity, attracting some kind of very specific cult following and adored by the gay community. No self respecting, star in his right mind would ever want to join in on this bizzarre fesival… well, until now at least.

Here is a picture of the Finnish group who won the last contest (for real):

And here are the Finnish guys (their name, i gather, is “Lordi”) in action: