See… this is what’s wrong with America. No not the Paparazzi… that the Paparazzi are such pussies.

Okay, I know it’s their job, but show a pair of balls. Do you honestly want the whole world to know you were beat up by the lead singer of Coldplay? Wouldn’t it be better in this case to just destroy the tape and tell people a girl gave you a black eye?

Recently Avril Lavigne covered Coldplay’s “The Scientist” in a BBC Radio 1 performance; since there’s no music video of the performance, here’s one we made.

Man, if you liked the old people choir covering Coldplay, you’re going to love the Zimmers, a new old people rock group from england with a 90 year old lead singer, and 100 year old member, and a cover of the Who’s my generation that was recorded at the prestigious Abbey Road studios in London. There’s a message behind this too: stop ignoring us, stop looking the other way, and for god’s sake, get rid of these horrible homes. They suck. Read more about these guys here, visit them on myspace, and take a look at the music video:

Here’s a beautiful, better than the original, old people choir interpretation of Coldplay’s Fix You. I’m quoting from the poster’s youtube:

“This is from a documentary shown on Channel 4 in the UK called ‘Young@Heart’; the name of the New England octogenarian chorus line. The performer here is Fred Knittle, who suffers from congestive heart failure. This song was intended to be a duet between Fred and another chorus member, Bob Salvini. Sadly, Bob died of a heart attack and it was left to Fred to carry the song on his own. If I’m correct, the people you see crying at 01:13 are Bob’s family. The lady you occasionally see mouthing the lyrics in the audience is Fred’s wife.”

BBC had a chat with Coldplay’s frontman, Chris Martin, who revealed his opinion on the band’s latest work. The singer, obviously high on himself, “described a track written for Coldplay’s next album as ‘basically genius’, saying it could be their best composition yet… The 30-year-old added that everybody ‘has to hear this song before we die, otherwise we’ll be terribly depressed’.” (link)

Everybody’s talking about it: top producer, experimental musician, Roxy music member, Brian Eno, just announced in a BBC interview that he’s going to produce the next Coldplay album. Billboard says Eno hinted that Coldplay are interested in creating a very different album than the ones they’ve put out before. Isn’t that just great? The cheesiest band on the face of the planet wants to make a “quality” album (it’s well known that Coldplay like to think of themselves as a Radiohead kind of band, and now it’s their time to make some kind of groundbreaking OK Computer type album). The only question left unanswered is: will Eno manage to help Coldplay the way Nigel Godrich helped Radiohead?

Here’s Coldplay’s “The Hardest Part”:

Here’s a strange one: NME reports that Coldplay’s Chris Martin, the man behind the cheesy ballads and Gwyneth Paltrow, is now working on a track with self involved rapper Kanye West. Apart from collaborating with the Coldplay frontman, West is recording with Jon Brion (the producer behind Fiona Apple and the soundtrack for Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind) and Fall Out Boy, who are letting him remix their new single, “This ain’t a Scene it’s an Arms Race”. I really love West’s political and social agenda: he’s against gay bashing and hip hop homophobia and he’s against George Bush. I just wish he was a better hip hop artist. Oh well. Nobody’s perfect.

Here’s West in his best TV appearance ever, denouncing George Bush over hurricane Katrina and coining the immortal phrase: “George Bush doesn’t care about black people”.